The Most Dangerous Thing in the World

Cobra takes advantage of General Hawk going to a NATO meeting in Europe and infiltrates the Department Of Defense's computers and promotes Lifeline, Dial Tone and Shipwreck (who's not even in the army) all to the rank of Colonel. The three can't cooperate and are not quite officer material which creates utter pandemonium at G.I. Joe Headquarters. Cobra capitalizes on the situation and attacks a research lab near the Joes' base. The Joes are defeated easily and fall back to Joe HQ. Hawk arrives in the nick of time and organizes a counter offensive, pushing Cobra back.